Stage Moms are Batshit Crazy

Have you ever been or met a "stage mother"?

Everyone wants their kid to do well but when it turns from hopeful and excited and a "Hell ya, that's my girl" under your breath to undermining, overbearing, competitiveness in every aspect of your child's life all the while taking jabs at other kids, coaches who don't cater to your child or parents whose kid may be outperforming yours......YOU ARE A FREAK!!!

I get it.  We all want our kids to do better than we did.  However, if you are making fun of other 5 year olds for not getting the steps to a dance the first try, calling a 7 year old a hyperactive brat because they talk a little too loud and draw attention to themselves (leaving your kid attention starved), are talking about how your child is so passionate about said activity that they are liable to faint and possibly cry (fake tears) if they miss a class or you and your kid hop from activity to activity because you wear out your welcome by being WAY TOO OVERBEARING not only to your kid, but to the staff, coaches, teachers or even other parents.....You might be a darn near FAUX REAL and screwing up your kid too.

Kids of Stage Moms: 
Tend to be over sensitive, 
Are terrified of making mistakes 
Have no social skills.  

Signs/Symptoms that you are becoming a Nutty Stage Mom:

If you give your kid a redbull to keep them awake to perform....you might be a Stage Mom.
If you sign your kid up for classes at 6 different dance studios for fear that they are not at "the best" one.....you might be a Stage Mom.
If you drive over an hour for classes that you can get right down the street.....You might be a Stage Mom.
If your love is conditional upon your kid filling your expectations.....You might be a Stage Mom.
If you have no interests of your own other than what your kid is doing.......You might be a Stage Mom.
If your kid has no friends outside of their activity(ies).......You might be a Stage Mom.
If your kid can spell 'supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus' but can't spell 'cat'.......You might be an obnoxious homeschooling Stage Mom.
If you've ever created an online hate group for former teachers, coaches or parents who don't cater to your child......you might be an immature douchebag of a Stage Mom.
If you have ever jabbed a needle into your 8 year old's face to prevent wrinkles......you might be completely BATSHIT CRAZY and you need a punch in the esophagus.

Let your kid be who they are.  Foster relationships between them and their friends, let them have fun and if they want to do something else than what you put all of YOUR life's hopes and dreams into....let them.  If it becomes something you want rather than something they want you need to back off and encourage them to find THEIR niche in this world.  Your unattainable expectations are only going to create the next generation's serial killer (who uses her tiara to maim her prey).....or worse, a Stepford Wife (not to be confused with Trophy Wife).